Surrendering the Pain
I never expected to be hurt like this—especially not by a Christian organization. When I stepped into this opportunity, I believed I was walking into a place that upheld the values of faith, love, and integrity. I thought I had found a space where I could serve GOD and be surrounded by people who reflected His heart. But instead, I was met with something far different.
I gave my all. I worked hard, showed up with passion, and poured myself into the mission. And when concerns arose, I did what any person of faith would do—I spoke up, believing that honesty and accountability mattered. They said they wanted to find a way to help, but their idea of a solution was offering to cover my moving expenses while expecting me to continue working there, as if that erased the problem. After 10 meetings, something should have been done after meeting one. It should have never taken that long to address what was wrong.
And then came the insult—they asked me to stay and be part of “fixing” the problem. How could I possibly fix something that leadership refused to acknowledge in the first place? If they had truly wanted to make it right, they wouldn’t have needed 11 meetings. The decision to promote one of the very leaders who had made the hurtful statements while I was on paid leave only made it clearer—this was never about real change.
When the Church Hurts You
It’s one thing to expect the world to be cruel. But when you’re wounded by a place that’s supposed to reflect GOD’s love, it shakes you in ways you never imagined. It makes you question everything—your worth, your faith, and even GOD Himself.
I wrestled with so many emotions—anger, betrayal, confusion. How could people who claim to follow CHRIST be so indifferent to my pain? How could they preach about JOY, love, and HOPE on the radio 7 days a week but ignore it in their own building.
I had to remind myself of something important: people are not GOD.
Yes, they may claim His name. Yes, they may work in His ministries. But that doesn’t mean they always reflect His heart. And it doesn’t mean that what they did was a reflection of who I am in GOD’s eyes.
Letting Go of the Bitterness
For the last 5 months, I’ve held onto the hurt. I wanted answers. I wanted accountability. I wanted them to see what they had done. But the more I carried the weight of my pain, the more it held me back.
GOD reminded me of Romans 12:19: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for GOD’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the LORD.”
I had to make a choice. I could stay angry, replaying the injustice over and over in my head, or I could lay it down at GOD’s feet and let Him handle it, because I deserved peace.
Trusting GOD with the Pain
One of the hardest things about this experience was realizing that GOD allowed it. He could have stopped it, but He didn’t. And for a while, that made me question why.
But then I remembered Isaiah 55:8-9: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
What happened to me wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. But I trust that GOD saw it all. And I trust that He will use it for something greater.
Walking Forward in Faith
I refuse to let this pain define me. What happened to me was real, and it hurt deeply—but it is not the end of my story. GOD has something greater ahead, and I am choosing to walk forward in faith (podcast plug)!
If you’ve ever been hurt by the church, by a Christian workplace, or by people who claimed to represent GOD but acted nothing like Him, I want you to know—you are not alone. And more importantly, GOD sees, GOD cares, and GOD will not waste your pain.
So today, I choose to surrender. I choose peace. I choose to trust that GOD’s plan is still unfolding. And I choose to believe that no matter what they did, GOD is still good. BECAUSE HE IS!