When The Fight is Spiritual
For the last few weeks, I’ve been doing the “right” things—mind, body, and soul. I’ve been showing up for myself, intentionally. Reading the Word, listening to powerful sermons, feeding my spirit instead of scrolling for hours or letting junk flood my mind. I’ve been working out consistently, eating cleaner, and ridding my body of the toxins that once had me bound and far from GOD. I’ve been doing the deep work—healing from the trauma and pain I endured while working at that “Christian radio station.”
I’ve been praying for others, fighting for them in the spirit, petitioning on their behalf. I’ve been speaking up and out through my podcast, and blogging about GOD’s love. I've been walking in my purpose. And yet…some mornings, I wake up completely exhausted. The kind of tired that doesn’t come from lack of sleep—but from carrying something in the spirit. One morning I even woke up with my jaw aching. That’s when I knew: this wasn’t physical. This is spiritual warfare.
The Enemy Doesn’t Attack What Isn’t a Threat
I had to remind myself that I am not being attacked because I’m weak—I’m being attacked because I’m dangerous. The enemy sees the momentum, the alignment, the healing that’s happening—and he hates it. He sees the doors opening, the move I’m preparing for, the obedience in my heart. He sees how I’m no longer silencing myself to protect the comfort of others, especially those who tried to bury my voice.
But here’s the thing: he doesn’t win this round.
The Power of Persistence
In the past, when I got back on track, I’d slowly fade into doing just the bare minimum. The enemy would whisper lies—"You’re tired. Maybe you’re doing too much. Maybe this isn’t worth it." And I'd settle. But not this time.
This time, I know what it is. This time, I see it for what it is: an attempt to scare me back into silence and survival. But I wasn’t created to barely get by. I was created to flourish. To speak truth. To lead with boldness and walk in purpose—even if I have to do it tired. Even if I have to cry through it. I won’t stop.
Recognizing the Signs
Every time I have a dream about that building—that place where I experienced so much trauma—I wake up feeling heavy. And I know that’s spiritual too. It’s not just a memory. It’s a residue. It’s an old weight trying to climb back onto shoulders that GOD has already freed.
But I refuse to carry what HE has already delivered me from.
“Be strong in the LORD and in the power of HIS might. Put on the full armor of GOD, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” – Ephesians 6:10-11
Eyes on JESUS, Always
This is a season of breaking through, not breaking down. I’m learning that when I’m under pressure, it’s because something beautiful is being birthed. This exhaustion I feel isn’t the end—it’s a sign I’m pushing through something major in the spirit. I may be tired, but I am not defeated.
No matter what comes—fear, fatigue, flashbacks—I’m keeping my eyes on JESUS. I’m pressing forward by any means necessary. Because I know on the other side of this fight is freedom, clarity, and purpose like never before.
If you’re in a season where you’re doing everything right and still feel under attack, you’re not alone. Stay rooted. Stay armored. Don’t let the enemy trick you into shrinking. You’re on the right path. And if it’s spiritual, it can only be fought one way: in the Spirit.
Keep going. Keep fighting. Keep praying. You were born for this.